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You're listening to episode number 14 of the Fat Fuelled Female podcast.
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Welcome to the Fat Fuelled Female podcast. I'm your host Marja Chow, a holistic nutritionist, personal trainer and proud dog mama of two. I am obsessed with helping women achieve their goals, feel confident in their skin and become empowered health advocates. This podcast is designed to help ambitious women thrive on a low carb, high fat lifestyle. So tune in each week as we talk all aspects of nutrition, improving your fitness enhancing your mindset so that you can take inspired action and live your best life all started from the inside out. I'm so happy to have you here. Now let's get started.
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Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of the Fat Fuelled Female podcast. The title of this episode is called Are You a Mean girl? So let's dive into this topic. Most of us have probably seen the movie Mean Girls. It was from the early 2000s. It was starring Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams before Rachel McAdams really blew up into the superstar she became it was before the notebook.
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So if you remember Regina George character Rachel McAdams character, she was not the nicest person and she was like a mean girl bully. Mean Girl bully to the max I would say.
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And even if you don't remember this movie, or you haven't seen it, I'm going to explain kind of what a mean girl is. Okay, so they say terrible things like you're not pretty enough. Totally Regina George. skinny enough, fit enough. Funny enough, or smart enough?
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And mean girls also say comments like, you can't wear that you do not look in that outfit. Who do you think you are? You're like crap, or you need to lose weight or your makeup sex or you're lovable. Or you can't take that risk. You can't you can't switch careers. Nope, nope, nope, you're not smart enough. Or you know what, you will never be successful.
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She's really that mean girl is that two faced b.i.t.c.h, who really likes to kick you when you're down. And she knows exactly what to say to get under your skin. She makes it easy for you to think that what she's saying is actually true. And she can make you scream at the top of your lungs, or break into tears with her comments.
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She leaves you insecure, upset, riddled with fear, anxiety, and self doubt. What if I told you this mean girl was you.
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But it is your internal chatter and continuous conversations happening daily in your mind. Now maybe you're mean girl, if you've seen the movie Mean Girls, isn't as terrible as Regina George, or the comments I went over are not as harsh as my examples.
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But we all have this internal voice known as our subconscious mind. We have these daily conversations with ourselves. And your subconscious mind has been developing since you were created, where your conscious mind isn't in full development till around age seven.
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So your conscious mind is 5% of your mind. It's how you walk how you talk how you carry yourself how people view you. And then the 95% everything below the surface is your subconscious mind.
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Now what I want to ask you is have you taken the time to acknowledge some of your thoughts. A lot of the times we just take our thoughts and beliefs as truth and fact and we don't even question them.
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We don't question them. And we develop these natural automations over the course of our lives starting as children and these natural automations they just become part of our belief systems that we are accustomed to.
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So for example, say in elementary school, you had to do a presentation. And you had to do you got to do public speaking and you got up on the stage and you didn't perform well. You kind of froze and you weren't able to articulate or communicate your presentation properly.
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So you get off that stage. And you possibly took on this belief that oh my gosh, I am just so terrible at public speaking. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. And I am never doing that again. You try to avoid that as much as you can all through elementary school all through high school, maybe all if you go back to college all through college. And it's part of your conscious mind refer to as your ego, trying to protect you and keep you safe.
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And for many of us, we don't even realize that we hold on to these beliefs for so much of our life. If this was your example, you could have possibly avoided public speaking because of this one event that happened when you were a child that just programmed you to think you weren't good at public speaking.
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And you take on this one event in your life and give so much meaning to it. And many people may not even realize that these beliefs stem a lot of them. A lot of them stem from our childhood, and our adolescence, and your subconscious mind is busy.
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It has about 60,000 thoughts a day, and it makes over 35,000 decisions a day. So from when you get up, it's like What time am I waking up? What clothes am I wearing today? How am I doing my makeup? How am I styling my hair? What am I having for breakfast? I'm fasting, am I not fasting? What route? Am I driving to work? Am I listening to a podcast? Am I listening to music? Or am I driving in silence? Right?
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You can see how many decisions your subconscious mind makes a day. Now, this may be a little woo-woo for some, but I want you to think of it like this.
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You are not your thoughts, you are merely the thinker of your thoughts. I'll say it again, you are not your thoughts, you are merely the thinker of your thoughts. And what I want you to know.
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And what I want you to really understand is, even though your mean girl may sound like you talk like you may feel like you you are not your mean girl, again, you are not your thoughts, you are not your thoughts. And again, you are not your thoughts, you are merely the thinker of your thoughts.
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So the first step is acknowledging the thoughts you are having, having the awareness with so many thoughts that you are having daily all mumble jumbled in your mind.
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So I always say to my clients, get your thoughts out of your mind and put them on paper so you can examine them. And you know, like five years ago, I had no self awareness really. I didn't even examine any of these beliefs. I was like, yeah, these are my truth. These are my facts. This is just the way it is. And we have to learn how to turn down the volume of the Mean Girl, and understand what this mean girl is saying to you is not true. Because beliefs are never true.
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I always say the word lies is in belief. Because in order for something to be true, it has to be fact. It's like me lifting my phone up and dropping it and it falls onto my desk. That is the law of gravity. That is true. That is fact you cannot deny that.
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Or the sky is blue. That is fact where you could argue this guy's different shades of blue but you understand what I'm saying. People spend so much time trying to make change from the external change from the exterior. Give me the right diet plan give me their tell me the right workout plan, tell me the best supplements to take right. And when you want to actually have transformation to happen for your unique and beautiful self. It all starts from within.
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So for example, I started my ketogenic journey, my fat fuelled journey back in 2016. I am So grateful that I found it because it was the last thing I did after my career dieting.
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And it was the one style of eating that gave me freedom over food brought me so much more connected and alignment with my body by balancing my hunger hormones, my blood sugar all of it.
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So grateful, so blessed that I found it right. But in order for me to really have true lasting change besides the exterior, and of course I strengthen my inner ecology. I had all my hormones more balanced all of the health aspects.
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But in order for me to have transformation actually last, I had to do a lot of inner work had to go below the surface. I had to metaphorically lift up the hood of the car and examine some of my own limiting beliefs and I had massive limiting beliefs before starting keto, I was like no, no, no, no, no, that is not going to work.
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We need carbohydrates. Everything I learned school everything I how I actually coached clients before how I actually ate when I was bodybuilding, had to go against all my beliefs I had been programmed for, for years of studying. Right? And it wasn't until I was actually able to question my beliefs and be like, Okay, this isn't 100% True.
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This isn't 100% Fact. And when you actually go to work, examining your own beliefs and understanding, none of them are absolute, that can be the most freeing and empowering thing. So what I want you, what I want you to ask yourself is,
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if you keep on taking action, doing more things, and of course, we understand going to the gym, moving our bodies, eating better, buying better quality food, all important, right, we can't get results.
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Unless we take actions, we understand that. But if you find yourself in the same pattern, over and over and over again, starting and stopping, always looking for the next best thing, always doing more external stuff, more surface stuff, then you probably may have understood now that you have to look within yourself, you have to start doing some work from the inside out.
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I always use you know, the iceberg analogy 5% you see above the surface, that's how most people see you. But it's that 95% underneath which people can't see you. And a lot of times, they're invisible mental blocks that you can't even see yourself, I had so many mental blocks I wasn't aware of until I worked with a mentor and a coach and I was able to dismantle some of these limiting beliefs and create new empowering beliefs that helps support me through my journey, as a nutritionist as an entrepreneur, as a better partner as a better friend. All of it right. And it really starts from within.
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And like anything in life. This requires practice, and really questioning your own beliefs. And, you know, many people go through life without ever questioning their beliefs. They just take them as truth. They just take it as this is the way it is.
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And in order to build muscle, right, we have to consistently go to the gym, we can't just expect to do two workouts like Oh, my butt's big, my biceps are great, my shoulders are nice. It's like no, we understand that we have to continuously go to the gym, make it part of our regular routine.
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And it's the same thing with rewiring and shifting your beliefs and reprogramming your subconscious mind. It takes time, it takes time. And shifting your internal dialogue is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. Because it is your internal wiring is your beliefs. It is how you speak to yourself. All this chatter inside your mind that manifests into the 3d world into reality.
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So we do have the power to stop our mean girl from negatively invading our mind so frequently. And it comes with action, repetition, and practice. Mastery comes with action, repetition, and practice.
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But the first step is recognizing your mean girl, and having the awareness of the thoughts you were thinking and saying to yourself every day. Again, our thoughts are just stories we tell ourselves which are not true. You are not your thoughts. Remember that you are merely the thinker of your thoughts. And all our beliefs, emotions, and negative self talk can manifest in our physical bodies, and play a massive role in our well being.
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With negative self talk and limiting beliefs, it can create you know, unresolved issues which can weigh us down emotionally, mentally, and physically.
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And when you are able to distinguish and separate your thoughts from yourself. This is the first step in healing and true transformation. And when you can when you take the time, and you can look at your timeline and look at how some limiting beliefs were created.
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And understand you have the power to change what that experience meant to you. You can reframe it. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you're giving it right, nothing has meaning except the meaning you are giving it.
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For example, one of my past clients because I do a lot of work with my clients one on one, and in the fat fuelled female method, group coaching. One of my clients was one of her limiting beliefs was I'm a failure. I can't stick with my nutrition plan ever.
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This is just like a pattern for me. I don't know what it is like, I just can't stick with that. And her story is very similar to mine. She started, she started dieting when she was 14 that's around the age I started dieting. So we had a lot in common. And I was like okay, well how can we reframe that? Because that has been a story of yours for so long. And she was she's in her 30s And she'd been dieting you know for 15-16 years.
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So we reframed it. She's like, Okay, well I can look at it as I wasn't successful at my past nutrition programs because A). I didn't enjoy what I was eating B) I felt always hungry and C). it wasn't sustainable. So moving forward, let's design a program that is a lifestyle where you actually enjoy what you are eating.
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And you know, many nutrition programs or dieting programs are not set up in a way for a lifestyle component. A lot of these diets are like, they want you to lose weight quick, but how you lose weight quick is not sustainable, because they're not integrating the lifestyle, lcomponent, and what is going to work for you.
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What works for your friend doesn't mean it's going to work for you. You are uniquely beautiful, your body is uniquely beautiful.
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So your nutrition and how you choose to nourish and fuel your body should be specific for you.
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So that is everything beautiful humans for this episode, when it comes down to it, look at your timeline, look at maybe some past experiences, and look at maybe where some of these limiting beliefs stemmed from and understand you have the power to change that belief and change that experience and reframe it into a positive light, reframe it into something that is going to benefit you and make you expand and grow into an even brighter, better version of yourself.
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So that is everything. I thank you so much for hanging out with me today. And I will catch you all next week.
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Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed what you heard, make sure to subscribe to the podcast. And if you feel you got some extra value from this episode, it would mean the world to me. If you could head over to Apple podcasts or whatever service you're listening to this podcast on. Drop a five star review. Let me know your thoughts in the show. Doing this really helps more people like yourself by the podcast. And if you're not already following me on social media right now is the time you can find me on Instagram at Marja Chow for all your nutrition tips, tricks and inspiration or visit my website at Fat Fuelled female.com where you can download my free seven day keto meal plan with recipes. Thanks so much for tuning in and I will catch you next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
