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You're listening to episode number four of the Fat Fuelled Female podcast.
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Hello and welcome to 2022. And since it's a brand new year, we will be running a free five day live interactive keto challenge, starting on Monday, January 17, did I mention it is free and in the challenge, I will go over a five key ingredients to make keto a real effective and lasting lifestyle change. Understanding that keto is a tool you can use to really improve your metabolism and reclaim your health and get the health and goals you want and desire and deserve. So to join the challenge go to https://marjachow.com/5-day-challenge/
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I will leave the link in the show notes for you to join. Let's make 2020 to your best year yet and I hope to see you inside the challenge.
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Welcome to the Fat Fueled Female podcast. I'm your host Marja Chow, a holistic nutritionist, personal trainer and proud dog mama of two. I am obsessed with helping women achieve their goals, feel confident in their skin and become empowered health advocates.
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This podcast is designed to help ambitious women thrive on a low carb, high fat lifestyle. So tune in each week as we talk all aspects of nutrition, improving your fitness enhancing your mindset so that you can take inspired action and live your best life all starting from the inside out.
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I'm so happy to have you here. Now let's get started. Hello, and welcome back to the fat fueled female podcast. Happy freakin New Year.
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Welcome to 2022 I love the energy this time of year people are ready to set intentions to create new habits and behaviors and goals. And it's like our brain. Our brains reset every Monday, every new month, every new season like fall, winter, spring, summer.
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And every year, what I think and believe is the biggest for most people, when wanting to make change, there is just something about a brand new year, which gives people hope and pushes them to actually take action. However, you know, my personal belief is you don't need a new week or a new month or you know a new year to decide you're ready to transform your life.
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You can decide whatever time of year or at this very moment, you can declare you're no longer settling for your current circumstances. And you're ready to step into a newer and improved version of yourself. So I think this is such a great discussion to have, since it's a new year. And people are ret really ready during January for change. So this topic of this episode is when your friends or your family or both don't support your nutrition choices, your lifestyle choices, or your goals, and how to deal with criticism and judgment.
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So in this episode, I will go over five points I want to address with actions and perspectives I think would be beneficial for you to consider.
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So point number one, let's get clear on who is part of your support system. A question I always ask my one on one VIP clients is when we first start working together is who is your support system? Is it your partner? Is it your friends? Is it your siblings? Is that your kids? Is it your co workers? Is it your parents?
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Do you have anyone that is really going to help support you through this journey. And I think it's very helpful when you have people who are cheering you on and want the best for you. It can make the process so much more enjoyable. And you can feel so much more supported, especially if people understand you and are on the same page as you right and they're aware of what your goals are and what you are working towards.
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If you don't have anyone that is a part of your support system, there are so many online communities on up from Facebook groups you can join and be a part of with like like minded people who are going through similar journeys or a similar goals like yourself, like I'm a part of different business groups and entrepreneur groups and spirituality and manifestation groups.
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These groups are great because you're surrounded with people who are going through similar, a similar journey as you are similar interests. So it's like you have this hub, or this community of people that can understand you more, right? Or you can you don't hire a coach or nutritionist or trainer, to keep you, you know, to create that accountability. I find accountability is key, when starting a new habit or setting new goals, you know, working with a fitness professional or nutritionist and naturopath, whoever a coach can ultimately be life changing as you adapt into a new way of living.
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Having that accountability for so many people is so important. And just being able to hold yourself accountable, right. So that's how I coach, I really provide value for my clients create that accountability. But you know, if you're wanting more connection, finding an online community where you can actually be supported not just by one person, but by multiple people, right.
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So it's, you know, it's really great to feel seen and supported. And, you know, absolutely 100%, this can actually really provide value and fuel you further throughout your journey.
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However, with that being said, if you're making these nutritional choices, and these lifestyle choices for yourself, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, except you. Right, if you're doing this for yourself, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks except you. No one else is living in your body, only you are, if you are committed and disciplined to improving your health, say you want to have better, better energy, or maybe you're wanting to lose 20,30, 40, 50 plus pounds, or maybe you're wanting to gain 10 pounds of muscle, whatever you truly desire.
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And if you're putting it out to the universe, that you're declaring, this is your path, this is what you are doing and you are taking action, then that is ultimately enough. It's very easy for us to get caught up with getting the applause, hearing the compliments having the likes on social media having that validation.
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And of course, it feels good, right. But if you're doing things based on the opinions, or the approval of others, you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. If you're trying to make changes based on like surface level superficial stuff, you're it's not because you have a true desire, and you're doing that inner identity work to really change who you are on a core level.
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If you're operating from a place of external validation, you're gonna get surface level results. And those results we all know, don't last. And you're not going to be creating that permanent change. And that's what we all want, right? So not everyone is gonna agree with your lifestyle choices or nutrition choices.
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And that's ok, not everyone agrees with everyone. And that's what makes society beautiful in life, we have choice. We have different opinions. We have different you know, nutrition programs, and different ways of eating and food and different things we can do that work for you, that you enjoy. So what I really want to set, what I really want to say again, is you have to be making these choices and decisions based on what you want.
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No one else making internal change from a place of love and growth from within for yourself for yourself. Okay. So, point number two. Let's talk about your partner say your partner is not supportive.
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That is hard, right? For me, personally, my partner is like my BFF. He's my biggest support system. He's my cheerleader. He's my therapist. He's all of the things right? So if you don't have your partner who's supporting you, that's definitely going to be a challenge, right?
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So for example, maybe you have a pattern of like, starting and stopping a nutrition program or going to the gym, you're good for like two to three weeks and you kind of just fall off. And maybe your partner is just throwing those jabs at you like Okay, babe. Yeah, I'll believe it when you see it. Sure. And it's Like, if you're actually committed this time, and you're like, No, this time is different.
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That can definitely staying right, that can definitely sting a bit. So what I would recommend is, there's two things you can do here.
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Number one is definitely have a conversation. Maybe your partner may not even know they're doing what they're saying and what they're doing is affecting you let them know, this is what I am deciding to do. This is what is important to me. And it will help me out tremendously. If you understand how important this is to me.
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I always find that, you know, the small conversations can create, like the biggest impact. And with nutrition, and health, it really causes the ripple effect. So say your partner is like okay, yeah, do your do whatever you want to do.
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But they see you're like, they're like, whoa, your energy so much better. You're more optimistic, oh, your body is transforming. They're like, Okay, wait, what are you doing? Tell me the tech tips and tricks that are working for you. And so they may take on some of those lifestyle habits and hacks that are working for you.
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Or say your partner, your partner's, like, Okay, do your thing. But they're not ready to take action, they're not ready to cut out the junk food and the process food, having that conversation, or if it's a roommate, or whoever it is, having that conversation, hey, you know, all your baked goods, your crackers, or cookies, or pastries, all that stuff, if you could put it in a designated area in the kitchen, not in the pantry.
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So every time I walk in, I don't see it. Because that will definitely help you on your journey. If you know you're trying to remove, you know, not the healthiest foods in your diet, and you're seeing them every day, it's like if you move them to a designated area that can absolutely help with this transitional process.
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And then number two, it's harder, and it takes time. But not let comments like that affect you and penetrate you. And this takes time. And I believe this is a alert skill, right, which takes time, you know, not just from your partner, from friends from family members from co workers, like you become strong enough that you kind of create this body armor and comments like that, just like they don't penetrate you, they just like deflect off of you, right?
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So not everyone is gonna agree with you and your choices you make. But when you have so much conviction with who you are, and you know, on a soul energetic level, that you what you're doing, you are on the right path. And you know, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.
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You realize that as long as you know innately and intuitively, that what you're doing is and where you are is absolutely where you're supposed to be. You realize you won't give your power away and your drive away and to criticism and judgment of people who don't actually really, truly know you.
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Because when it comes down to it, nobody really knows you. Except you. Nobody knows you better than you know you right?
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So let's move on to point number three. Let's talk about people online. Okay, so people online can be vicious a if I don't understand it, right. Like, if you don't agree with someone, it's very easy just not to make a nasty comment or takes less than a second to unfollow someone, right? I don't get it.
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But um, you know, if I ever get a mean message, I don't ever reply or ever engage. That's feeding into negativity. And I'm not about that that person is in pain or has some sort of unhealed issue. And that's not my responsibility or desire to engage in that type of energy. And it isn't yours either.
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So I just leave it at that, you know, if you have trolls online, making negative comments on positive moves you're making in your life, and you're posting to inspire others or keep yourself accountable. Just know, anyone who is doing the work, putting in the work themselves trying to be a better version of themselves, doesn't really have time to spread negativity to other people. They just don't write. I personally just block and delete. I don't like that energy in my aura, but it's up to you how you choose to deal with people online.
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So moving on to point a number four, let's talk about friends. So for example, say you and your or friends or friend are deciding or trying to figure out a place to eat.
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And you're like, Okay, well, I just want to look at the menu, see what they have to offer, I have some like diet or dietary restrictions that are important to me and your friends or friends, you know, do a I roll again, or they say some form of like half joke or backhanded comment, and it starts to affect you're like, man, like every time I just like want to be healthy, people have something to say.
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So first off, your friend or friends could be doing these actions like rolling their eyes, subconsciously, and not even realizing they're doing it. Or saying these half jokes that, you know, they might not even realize that it's affecting you on that level. So again, having a conversation and addressing how you're feeling with the way they're reacting for you wanting to improve your health.
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For example, I had one of my clients, she works at a corporate job, and everyone there ate doughnuts and coffee, and pastries and cookies and all of those things every day. And there's nothing wrong with that, if that's the lifestyle you choose. And ultimately what it comes down to is if you're okay, living your life that way, right life is about choice.
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How long I've been coaching and working with people, I have realized, you can't change people, I can't want you to have better health than you do. I can't do your squats for you, I can't do your workouts for you. You got to do them yourself, you got to put in the work, I can give you all the workout plans and all the meal plans, people can download all the things, read all the books, listen to all the podcasts.
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But if that person isn't actually wanting to change, it's just a whole bunch of information facts stored up in your brain. It's useless unless you're taking action, right? You know the same you can bring a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink.
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So okay, getting back to getting back to my client stories. story. I find misery breeds company. People who are struggling or suffering are comfortable knowing that other people are also unhappy. And that's really sad to me.
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When my client was like, you know, I just don't feel good eating that type of food I've crashes in the afternoon, my energy sucks, I'm gaining weight. And she was making all these changes coming into work with prep food. Have you bulletproof coffees in the morning implementing a fasting protocol that worked for her.
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All her co workers had something to say about it. You're not having cake? Why are you not eating doughnuts with us? Like, it's like they were judging her and shaming her for making healthier decisions.
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And that's not cool man. Like, we shouldn't be judging and shaming people for eating doughnuts. That's their choice.
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People are adults, they can make choices on their own. And we definitely should not be judging and shaming someone who is taking action and making healthier decisions. Right? It's your body, it's your choice, what you choose to eat and fuel it with is up to you.
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I I find when people operate like that, when they judge you for being a better version of yourself. You may be feeling like they're jealous of you or you may feel attacked, right? Whatever it is, that person or people are coming from a place of lack.
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So having a lack mindset over an abundant mindset. So they're coming from a mindset where you know, a, you're actually deciding to make change, hopefully for no one else but yourself, for your body for your health.
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And they want to to as well, but they're not there yet. They're not ready to get out of their comfort zone right? Or be. They're coming from a place of lack, where they think you are taking something from them when there's always enough to go around. And I find this lack mindset can happen in business a lot.
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Really having a lack mindset, you know, the last couple years in my personal development and spiritual journey.
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One of the main things I really do my best practice is having an abundant mindset. Celebrating all the small wins I make daily, weekly, monthly yearly, and celebrating other people's wins and other people's success and hard work and genuinely genuinely truly being happy for other people right there.
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Tons of people, tons of business owners and nutritionists and coaches who do the exact same thing as me.
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And you know, a few years ago, I would see nutritionists and health coaches and be like, Oh my gosh, how are they so successful? How are they making this much money? How do they have these many subscribers, these many followers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And to be honest, a part of me was jealous, and envy would kick in. And you have to remind yourself that that person or people you look up to started exactly where you are. Everyone starts their business, what what, whatever business you're in, with no sales, no clients, no accounts, no deals, whatever industry you are in, everyone starts at zero.
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Or even on your health and fitness journey everyone starts with not knowing you know how to start a treadmill, or how to do a push up, or how to skip rope, or how to do a squat or how to do a plank, everyone starts as a novice, as a beginner. And if someone else can achieve something you want, you should use that.
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And I use that as drive to know that you and I are both infinite potential, and you have to remind yourself that there is always enough to go around. And for me, there's more than enough people to serve and help. And the way that I coach and the way I teach isn't going to be for everyone, someone may really like my coaching style, and someone may resonate with another coach. And that's okay.
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You know, having a lack mindset a couple years ago, for me, didn't provide any sort of benefit. And I'm telling you right now, from my own personal experience, it won't provide you any sort of benefit either comparing yourself to others going green with envy and jealousy, it's taking energy, you should be focusing on yourself, and giving it away to other factors that really have nothing to do with you.
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So just focus on your journey on your path, and the people or person that you look up to use them to inspire you that anything is possible. And remember, everyone started as a novice, everyone started as a beginner. So let's move on to point number five.
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I don't want to say we grow out people, because that's kind of ego based energy. But when you step into a new version of yourself, when you decide to put your physical, mental, spiritual health first, when you choose more for yourself, some people are not ready for that version of you, and they're not used to it. And those friends may still want that old version of you, who only maybe parts of that version of you exist. And they're still wanting that old version of you when you've evolved. And as you evolve and grow, you may find new people and new faces that are more in alignment with how you choose to live your life.
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And, you know, although it may be sad, that's okay. Like metaphorically Think of yourself as a tree, you're going to grow and grow and grow and grow. And from a baby tree, your perspective and your view is going to be very much different than when you grow and evolve.
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And you look and you have this bird's eye view of everything that's happening, you know, some of those other trees are gonna stay smaller and not grow as much. And you know, that's okay. People, you know, the same people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And it's so freakin true.
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Every relationship you have good or bad, they're all blessings. Easier said than done, right? When you're going through something crappy. It's really hard. But when you can look back at it objectively, you're like, wow, I learned so much from that, right?
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So every relationship good or bad, they're all blessings. And when it comes down to it, we are on this earth for a limited amount of time. And if you're living your life for the approval and acceptance of other people, you are cutting yourself off from all the possibilities and experiences and adventures you can truly have with yourself.
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Don't water yourself down and not live your life authentically because friends or your partner or co workers or whoever it may be doesn't approve of this version of you. We change we grow and some people won't grow with you on your journey. And that's okay.
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So let's recap on this episode.
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Look at yourself support system. If you don't have one, there are tons of online communities that can help you. Whatever endeavor you are committed committing to, right.
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There's mom groups, there's dog groups, there's nutrition groups, their spirituality groups, there's entrepreneur groups, there's divorce groups, there's so many groups and platforms, and communities that you can feel connected with.
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And then again, having conversations with friends and family, let them know, Hey, this is how I feel. And this is how I would like to be supported.
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Sometimes people just don't know. People are not mind reader's. So again, having these conversations can make all of the difference. With people online, I would say just ignore it.
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Don't feed into negativity. Don't allow that negativity to penetrate you, but handle it how you choose to. And then lastly, being okay if people are friends are you know, as you evolve, they don't continue on this journey with you.
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Maybe they are not ready for this version of you and your relationship will come to an end. Or maybe their relationship, you'll create space, you'll have a break, and maybe you'll find your way back to each other in time. And maybe you won't I always say that people that are meant to be in your life, I believe will always make time to be in your life plain and simple.
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So that is everything for this episode. It's 2022 Holy crap. Let's get it. Let's make it the best year yet. I will leave you with this quote by Anne Frank, which is one of my favorite quotes. What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't even happened yet. Thank you so much for listening, beautiful humans and I will catch you next week.
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Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed what you heard, make sure to subscribe to the podcast. And if you feel you got some extra value from this episode, it would mean the world to me. If you could head over to Apple podcast or whatever service you're listening to this podcast on. Drop a five star review and let me know your thoughts on the show. This helps more people like yourself find the podcast and if you're not already following me on social media right now is the time you can find me on Instagram at Marja Chow for all your nutrition tips, tricks and inspiration or visit my website at bat fueled female.com where you can download my free seven day keto meal plan with recipes. Thank you so much for tuning in. I will catch you next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
